High Class Real Estate

While living in New York, there were several times over the years when I had to go on the dreaded “apartment hunt.” Any New Yorker will tell you that looking for a place to live in the city is not something one looks forward to, at all. Besides the pending strain on your wallet (usually a first and last month’s rent, and/or any other applicable realtor fees), the possibility of having to make a snap decision on committing to a place you are not sure of or of potentially losing a “great deal” to the next person to see it, you also have to carefully navigate the landmines of “realtor speak” or risk being severely disappointed in your home search. An accurate example of that would be:

Real Estate Ad: “Unique, cozy, hidden gem in the heart of an up and coming neighborhood. Partial view of the Empire State Building. Close to the best bars, restaurants and nightlife.” (Sounds good, doesn’t it?)

Translation: A very dated, minuscule closet, so far away from anything that is cool that your friends will never visit you. You can see the very top of the antenna on the Empire State Building if you stand on a chair and look out the tiny bathroom window. What bars, eateries, or clubs that are nearby will ensure that you receive no sleep, at all, most nights of the week.

Or another . . .

Real Estate Ad: “Bright, pre-war, penthouse loft, with urban view and outdoor space. Recently undergone full facelift. Great potential.” (Sounds ideal, right?)

Translation: The glare from the high-rise across the street will fry you like an ant under a magnifying glass. We are not sure which war they are talking about but almost always it is an unattractive, late-1960’s structure with paper-thin ceilings, floors and walls. The “penthouse” is on the top floor of a six-story walk-up, and the outdoor space is a window box that looks onto a back alley inhabited by flocks of pigeons. Oh, and “great potential” means that the “full facelift” meant fixing the shelf in the one and only tiny closet.

Yes, you really do see some strange things. One of the most memorable real estate experiences for me was many years ago when I had just moved to the city and had begun my first apartment search. A realtor showed me an apartment with a “unique” feature. The unique feature that he was trying to sell was a toilet right in the middle of the kitchen area of a small, dark studio apartment. He enthusiastically told me that I could put a board on top of the toilet, cover it with a tablecloth and use it as a table, and that no one would ever know the toilet was under there. I am not kidding. I am certain though, that someone eventually rented that apartment. Such is big city life sometimes. Of course, now I can look back on these memories with fondness and see them for the valuable life experiences that they were. It still makes me smile to recount those times.

Now, however, I am writing about a truly inspiring piece of real estate that I am a little bit in love with. It took me several years of looking online and in tractor supply and agricultural stores to finally find a chicken coop that would fit the bill for us, but one day, while looking through Craigslist ads, I found Westphalia Trading Company. Immediately when I saw their chicken coop advertisement, and thoroughly examined their website, I knew they were the coop builders for us. The added bonus was that they were exceptionally nice people to work with. Two weeks ago, our long-awaited chicken tractor arrived, and it completely exceeded my expectations. A chicken tractor is a moveable coop that can be pulled around your yard instead of having a permanent stationary coop somewhere on your property. There are many benefits to having a chicken tractor. Not only are they a great way to fertilize your lawn for obvious reasons, but they are great for the chickens too. Your chicky girls can help rid your yard of weeds, problematic insects, and other pests, which are all delicacies to them. Unlike New Yorkers, chickens welcome roaches, creepy crawlies of all kinds, and even mice into their home – yum! They will also help you aerate your lawn by scratching it with their rake-like feet, giving new life to your soil and grass. It was a relief to finally be able to move our six chicks outside, as they continue to grow so fast, and had almost outgrown the second brood box that I had moved them to.

To say that the girls like their new home, well, Palace, really, would be an understatement. So, putting realtor speak into a true perspective, here are some features of the chicks’ beautiful new forever home. The features include:

“Location, location, location, with plenty of security, spectacular views and an outdoor space!” - Indeed, their picturesque country views change once a week as we relocate the tractor to another grassy spot in the yard to optimize the natural landscaping. The coop also features a 12-foot grassy run (a/k/a the “Garden”). It weighs upwards of 900+ pounds so we move it, on its sled, with a farm utility vehicle. Since this is a substantial coop, made with real lumber and not particle board like most on the market these days, it adds to the security for the chicks, keeping them safe from predators. So does the heavy-duty wire mesh that surrounds the entire coop and is even tightly secured across each window.

“Bright, vaulted ceilings in this newly constructed penthouse loft apartment, just one short flight up!” - Yep, filtered sunlight all year long. The coop was carefully thought out in a “bungalow style” to provide an additional six feet in the run underneath the house. I installed roosting bars in the coop-run to utilize the prime vertical space, getting the most out of the total square footage. I plan to add an additional diagonal roosting bar at the highest point in the coop-run, and then wrap them all in natural rope for more grip-ability. The chicks sure do love perching up high.

“Unique, high-end, charming details throughout!” - This named property, The Hen Den, features custom paint and trim to match our home, a prominently featured address plaque on the front door, gorgeous one-of-a-kind window boxes underneath two, real working, screened-in windows, a unique solar-powered door that opens when the sun rises and closes when the sun sets. If there are any stragglers after the door closes at night, the door reopens for a few minutes while the errant chick makes her way up into the security of her warm house for the night. The first night the chicks were in their coop, they did not make it in before dark. John and I went to check on them and they were huddled in a corner of the outdoor run. I opened the door and carefully put them all inside. They have never missed another curfew since. Smart girls! Also, the indoor roosting bars are removable, and the floor and all four nesting boxes have vinyl flooring, all for easy cleanup, and all of this under a lovely country tin roof!

“High-end dining and entertainment options abound!” - For both dining and entertainment, which is one and the same to a chicken, they have a swing, a bell ball that rolls around for tons of fun in which to stuff fruit and vegetables of all kinds into, as well as a hanging food skewer. The coop also features a built-in feeder on the back door of the house for dry food and a Royal Rooster chicken waterer that holds up to a gallon of water. Also available are individual galvanized steel containers for grit, and eventually, one for oyster shell. Since chickens do not have teeth, they need to eat grit and small stones to help them grind up food in their gizzards, and oyster shell provides them with the calcium they need when they begin to lay eggs. Eggshells are made from calcium that is taken from the chicken’s bones, so it is important that she replenish her calcium supply on a regular basis. Lastly, I have a round puppy feeder that works well for the chicky girls. They can gather around to eat at the same time and no food fights ensue!

“Lovingly maintained by onsite owner/landlord!” - That would be me, and sometimes John too (he is secretly quite fond of the chicks).

Wow, that was a mouthful wasn’t it? There is a lot that goes into this real estate stuff apparently. I am still quite obsessed with our new chicken tractor and probably will be for a very long time to come. I am gratified too that the girls love their new home (I wonder how it would rent out in New York City)! We wish each of you all the creature comforts, and for those of you friends who may be currently in search of a new roost to call your own, we wish you Good Cluck!

Until next time . . .

K.